Yes, I know, that is not a great title but it is sincerely how I feel. In case you aren’t interested, Christmas is in eighteen days. Are you ready? Do you care?
I’m not even close to ready for Christmas and my husband’s granddaughter is coming in a few days. Not that it matters a ton but it would be nice if I had something going on for Christmas, like maybe a decorated tree or a present for someone, anyone. Yes, I am in a panic just now.
I used to love Christmas! I truly did. I’d decorate the whole house, put up a large tree, although in recent years it’s been a fake tree, I’ve decorated it rather well if I do say so myself. I loved the music and would sing it loudly all through the house. I was also better at singing than I am now. 🙂 But I went all out even making special entrees for Christmas morning and a big Christmas dinner, all while working full time.
Now, there isn’t any point in going to a lot of trouble for Christmas. My daughter is grown and off in the Northern reaches of California. I rarely see or even speak to her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve texted, written letters, sent boxes of things; I even sent off some pictures of her father I’d found. We are not on speaking terms, her father and I. It is story for another time. The point is I’m pretty much alone now. Yes, I see you shaking your finger at me, I do have a husband but he is not well or that is what I tell everyone. He is in the early stages of dementia from too many concussions and has a memory of about fifteen seconds. I have him beat, I can remember last week!
I think the real problem here is I can remember Christmases past and even long past and I miss that wonderful feeling. Now, I’m just depressed, wishing for a time I will probably never have again. I go through the motions, a little less each year but the magic is gone and I don’t think it will be coming back. But I will dig out some of the old decorations, shop online for a few things although I doubt I’ll do much more than that. My advice to you? Enjoy a big Christmas or Hanukkah if you can because like everything else in life, it won’t last.
I wish you a Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah and may we
all be still around to toast the New Year!